A New Frontier: Beta Parenting with AI
"Mom, guess what? A kid in my class used ChatGPT to write his whole report on whales," my 10-year-old shared over dinner. "I told him not to do that, but he didn't listen."
"Well, that's cheating, and I'm sure your teacher will spot it immediately," I responded automatically. "ChatGPT will write it in a way that isn't how a 4th grader would write. It will be totally obvious."
She nodded, satisfied that justice had been served in our kitchen court. But as I cleared the dishes later that night, something nagged at me. Earlier that same day, I'd used AI repeatedly at work to draft documents, brainstorm project ideas, and better understand technical concepts. Using AI made me more efficient and effective in my job.
So what message was I really sending my daughter?
The Uncomfortable Truth
Here's what I realized, I told her that using AI was "cheating" while I was using it professionally every single day. I positioned AI as inherently bad, when what I really meant was that using it thoughtlessly is problematic. But she doesn't yet have the tools to understand that distinction.
This moment crystallized something I'd been wrestling with as both a parent and someone who works in technology and education. We're raising kids for a world where AI collaboration will be as universal as email or smartphones are today. Recent studies suggest up to 40% of jobs will be significantly transformed by AI in the next decade. Our kids won't just encounter AI occasionally—they'll need to work alongside it and understand its capabilities and limitations.
Learning from Past Mistakes
Remember the "Say No to Drugs" campaign from the 1980s? The dramatic "this is your brain on drugs" ad with the fried egg sizzling in the pan was everywhere and it was shown to be completely ineffective. Abstinence-only approaches rarely work because they don't teach young people how to navigate real-world complexities. Instead of learning critical evaluation skills, kids got scared by dramatic imagery and then encountered the real world unprepared.
We're doing the same thing with AI. Instead of teaching our kids to think critically about when and how to use these tools, we're hoping others will create guardrails our kids can follow for life. This approach isn't setting our children up to thrive in a world where they'll have tools we never dreamed of.
What's Really at Stake
The stakes feel enormous because they are. I spent years in college and graduate school honing my critical thinking and analysis skills, learning to find and trust my own voice. Those skills have never been more important—and also never been more challenging to maintain. Even as I write this post with AI assistance, I'm constantly asking myself: Are these my ideas? Is this my voice? How do I stay authentic while benefiting from this technology?
That internal dialogue is exactly what our kids need to develop. We want them to be curious, develop sharp critical thinking, use creativity to innovate, and communicate in their authentic voice. We want them to value effort, struggle through challenges, and build real competence. These aren't old-fashioned values because they're exactly what will matter most in an AI world, where the ability to think original thoughts, ask thoughtful questions, and create meaningful connections will be more valuable than ever.
Threading the Needle
So how do we navigate this challenge? How do we preserve what makes us human while preparing our kids to succeed in a world where artificial intelligence is everywhere? How do we teach them to use these powerful tools without losing themselves in the process? How do we help them develop that internal voice that asks, "Wait, is this really what I think?"
And how do we do all of this when we're still figuring it out ourselves?
Starting with Honesty
I don't have all the answers, but I believe the conversation starts with honesty. It begins with admitting that AI isn't inherently good or bad—it's a tool that can be used thoughtfully or carelessly. It starts with exploring these questions together as families rather than pretending we can shield our kids from this technology forever.
Over the coming months, I'm going to share what I'm learning as I navigate this with my own kids. I'll explore how we can build AI literacy without losing our humanity, how to help kids use these tools as thinking partners rather than thinking replacements, and how to have conversations that prepare them for an uncertain but promising future.
A Transparent Approach
Fair warning: I'm using AI to help me write these posts, and I'll show you exactly how—my prompts, my process, what works and what doesn't. Because if we're going to guide our kids through this AI landscape, we need to understand it ourselves.
The future is coming whether we're ready or not. But maybe, if we're thoughtful about it, we can help our kids shape that future rather than just survive it.
Ready to explore this together?
Post-Script: AI Usage
I used Claude Sonnet 4 (free tool) to help me with this post.
My first prompt summarized the main points of the blog post, a draft of the post and my linkedin profile information so that could be integrated into the post.
For the revision, I asked to include the “Say No to Drugs” 1980s campaign as an example of how we’ve approached things in the past that can be harmful to kids.
Then I went through and read the draft outloud and changed langugage that didn’t seem like my authentic voice.
Finally, I asked for a final, polished draft.
