Listening
A key takeaway that I’ve had as a teacher and education leader, is the need to observe and listen to people. This observing and listening helps me better understand what is going on in people’s lives and what their mindsets are before diving into doing any work. While I was good at doing this professionally and personally, I was not good at doing this at the start of remote learning last spring.
When remote learning began, I, in my teacher mode, designed a daily schedule that gave us (myself and my kids) structure and routine. I knew I was very comfortable with designing lesson plans. We would start with writing down the day of the week and the date. Then we would watch videos of teachers from our elementary school do daily announcements. And off we went. It worked for one day. Then my kids started rebelling. They didn’t want to do those routines to start off the day. My attempt at structure and routine failed. Not a great start to remote learning.
I stepped back and reflected on the situation. My kids had stopped school indefinitely. They couldn’t see their friends. They couldn’t see their teachers. I couldn’t see my friends and my colleagues. We needed to spend some time checking in about our feelings and mindsets every day. And, we all needed to listen to each other. Based on what my kids shared in the mornings, we would then look at activities sent by their teachers and decide what we would do each day. Some were non-negotiable - reading and math happened every day. Other activities in other subjects were done at a different pace than assigned or not done at all. [Note: I had communicated with my kids’ teachers about what we were doing every week to make sure we were meeting expectations.] We shifted the atmosphere in our house by focusing in on what we all needed and then built our days from there.
TRY IT: Check in with your child(ren) every morning. And be sure to share your answers as well. Some possible questions are:
What are they feeling? For younger kids, you can ask them to pick out a picture of a smiley face, sad face, angry face, etc.
How did they sleep? Tiredness will clearly make for a harder learning day.
And what are they excited about today? What are they not excited about today?
What worked well yesterday (if it was a school day)? What didn’t work well?
After talking with your child(ren), you all can decide next steps. For elementary or even middle schoolers, you can walk through the learning expectations and schedule for the day and come up with a plan together. For middle and high schoolers, have your child(ren) share what they are planning to do that day. If they don’t want to share with you in the morning, perhaps a check-in at dinner will work.
If your child(ren) does not want to check in with you, try and find a person who they would be willing to check-in with, if not daily, then 2-3 times a week. Some possible options may be grandparents, aunts or uncles, or a friend’s parent.
Lastly, listening doesn’t end with a check-in. One of the most important actions you can do during this challenging time is listen. Not give advice. Not give guidance. Just listen and be ready to use what you hear as additional data points about how to best support your child(ren) during the pandemic.
Next up is a discussion about another important way to gather data about your child(ren)’s challenges…OBSERVING.
Reach out for additional personalized guidance about supporting your child(ren)’s remote/hybrid learning or homeschooling.
